6 Self Help Books That Changed My Life
Some self improvement book recommendations for anyone staring at their ceiling at 2AM.
I love self help books! There! I said it! I’m not embarrassed to admit it! I’ll tell the whole internet!
(I am a little embarrassed.) But I’ll still tell the whole internet!
If you already read and enjoy self help books (or ahem, personal growth books, a rebranding I feel we all immensely appreciated,) then you get it. That coyness. Taking it off the coffee table when guests come over. Downloading it on your Kindle so you don’t have to flash the cover on the subway. Checking to see if the section at the book store is empty before you go looking, glancing over your shoulder like there’s a ghost behind you.
It’s 2025 and gosh dang it, it’s hard to have a brain these days. Work is increasingly demanding, life is increasingly complicated, people are increasingly mad at each other it seems. I think so many of us just want to feel okay and are trying to figure out how with fairly limited resources.
Books claim so much of the love in my heart. But I don’t think you have to be a book lover to enjoy self help books. In fact, I feel like they’re actually the best books for people who don’t love reading. More on that in a sec.
When I’m lost and confused, emotionally at rock bottom, and just plain frustrated at what I don’t know, I go to the book store. I am immediately comforted by the thousands of books and authors and people that fill up the room. I think about how all of these people, real and fictional, have been somewhere in life they didn’t want to be just like me. I go to the self help section and I think of all of the people who were struggling and found exactly the answers they needed in these pages. Then I feel hopeful. Like it’s okay I don’t have the salve to my wounds yet because somewhere they exist. As long as I don’t give up looking for them, they will be found.
One Book Can Change Your Whole Life
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Is hope such a dirty thing? Is it embarrassing to believe your life could get better? I don’t think so. Change is vulnerable. Admitting we want something we don’t have is scary. It brings up a lot of insecurity and pain of the past. Being brave and trying for the life you want anyway is deserving of reward in my opinion. So buy yourself a self help book AND a cookie.
Which is what I do! Whenever I am facing a new challenge, I download a self help audiobook that someone recommends on the topic, be it an article like this or someone I know who is knowledgeable on the subject. I go for slow walks and just listen. I don’t try to solve anything or rush through. I just walk and listen and trust that there is always some solution to every quandary. No reading even required. And that cookie thing, don’t forget.
Everyone is simply doing their best and if they are doing their worst, judgment rarely pushes the needle in the right direction. I don't think self help is about fixing our flaws. It's about acknowledging we are capable of building the life we want right now, learning and growing into the person we want to be.
It all begins with the decision. Buy the book. Sign up for the class. Watch the YouTube video. It feels so embarrassing and sticky at first but all of the endless magic in life comes right after feeling that way. Take your time and make decisions that feel empowering, no matter what anyone else thinks. These books have all been there for me at the beginning of journeys I didn’t know how to tread. They opened up new ideas in my mind that made me feel like life can always improve and feel beautiful again.
I’ve read a LOT of self help books. And some! Genuinely are crap. Some make you feel worse. Some are cool but I forget about the second they are done. But the best self help books feel like a magical key that unlock an answer you’ve been grasping for in the blink of an eye. Truly, these personal development books genuinely changed my life.
Some of these books are quite, how you say, woo woo. Some are more sciency. I think their ideas can be nourishing for anyone no matter their belief systems but with some of them even I was like, huh? But even where I disagreed, these books made me ask myself important questions even if my answers looked different than the authors’. And that’s okay.
1) Many Lives, Many Masters by Brian Weiss
Ah, Death. We fear and crave it in tandem. I think we as humans have an inherent need to ponder death. To imagine what is beyond our understanding and to validate our limited time on Earth.
My mind and body used to think that every little thing was a monster that was about to eat me. From not having time to do the dishes to forgetting an old friend’s birthday to whether I was going to get fired. I am an anxious person. Anxiety is simply fear. What is the purpose of fear? To keep us from death. But unfortunately when we fear a thing we look for it everywhere. Death used to be behind every door for me.
Reading this Many Lives, Many Masters really rewired my brain and helped soothe so much of my anxiety and overthinking. In a way, I think it helped me to get to the root of what I really feared in life: death. It gave me hope that there is greater meaning to this existence. To every folly and triumph. After reading it, I genuinely believed death is not the end. Then I felt a new sense of enjoyment for my life.
2) A Primer in Positive Psychology by Christopher Peterson
Modern psychology takes up a big shelf in my Happiness ToolBox. It’s certainly not the only tool on the shelf and I understand why some people are reticent to try things like therapy. I always say some people need a therapist, some people need a shaman, some people need a priest. Personally, I like all three!
Whether you love therapy or are on the fence, A Primer in Positive Psychology is great introduction to psychology without needing to engage with anything too clinical. A few decades ago a man named Martin Seligman and a fellow psychologist who wrote this book, Christopher Peterson, realized modern psychologists spent a lot of time studying how bad people feel. They started studying and compiling data on the ways people manage to feel good. Then they created a whole new area of study called Positive Psychology!
This book is a bit textbook-y and I would recommend getting the paper copy as well if you’re going to listen to it since there are a lot of exercises.
The reason I loved the book so much is because it really simplifies happiness. It breaks down practices, behaviors, thoughts, and lifestyle choices that consistently make the most humans feel happy. Happiness can seem like such a convoluted far away goal but Peterson outlines a really reliable path that you can return to again and again.
3) Co-creating at Its Best by Wayne Dyer and Esther Hicks
That was the therapist, now for the shaman! I have probably listened to this book like 10 times. It is my adult blankie, my comfort book, my break out in case of emergency tome. It’s only 2.5 hours and it was originally a live conversation, TED-talk type of thing so I highly suggest listening over reading.
Wayne Dyer and Esther Hicks are both new age philosophers who write on the topics of the law of attraction, the power of thought, and manifestation. They self identify as non-denominational and say that their teachings on the universe and spirit can apply to anyone of any religion and I personally agree. But if you identify very strongly with an organized religion this one might not be for you.
They’re just the best though. They’re like your warm aunt and uncle who drop the cleverest bits of wisdom exactly when you need it. Esther’s thing is that she enters a meditative state to channel wisdom from the benevolent masters of the great beyond (whatever gets you there amiright?) In Co-creating at Its Best, Wayne asks her all kinds of questions on topics like abandonment to romance to money.
This, an iced matcha, a long walk on a wide dirt trail. That’s better than drugs, baby.
4) You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay
You Can Heal Your Life is a self help CLASSIC for a reason. Louise Hay is the OG inspirational writer. No one does it like her and most of the classic self help books you know and love have been discovered and published through her empire, Hay House.
This is her magnum opus, a one stop shop for learning how to create the life you want. It’s organized into chapters on pivotal aspects of life like physical health and friendship. There are exercises, lessons, and affirmations. It’s so genius because it’s so simple. Almost maddeningly simple at times. But give yourself over to Louise and she will perform miracles.
I credit this book with me finding my partner. I bet it can carve a path to whatever you’re seeking too. Doing the companion workbook at the same time is even BETTER although if anyone ever read mine I would drown myself so be prepared for some feels if you fill it out yourself.
5) Happy Together by James O. Pawelski & Suzann Pileggi Pawelski
Love! Let’s face it. It’s just the best sh*! out there. And let’s face it, it’s just the worst sh*! out there.
I’m corny. A cheese puff. A hopeless stupid naive romantic. I hope I die that way. I really think the world needs more naivety, more innocence. And I think love is the only reason for life on this earth. Learning to do it is the work of a lifetime.
James and Suzann are a married couple who also are both positive psychologists. They worked with Martin Seligmann at the flagship Positive Psychology department at the University of Pennsylvania. They spent decades studying what makes people feel genuinely good and applying it to their relationship. Then they put it all together in Happy Together: Using the Science of Positive Psychology to Build Love That Last with actionable tips and exercises!
I actually read this book before I met my partner and I would highly recommend that to anyone. It builds such a lovely mental foundation for navigating inevitable roadblocks in a relationship and building the skills that help love last.
I was big time single when I picked this up in an “if you build it they will come” sort of effort. I hadn’t BLINKED at a man in almost two years and was really looking for my special someone. Being single is amazing and terrible all at once and in rotating shifts. But I am so grateful for that time. I learned who I was, what I really wanted, and what love really looked like to me. This book is one of the best relationship books out there and has been a foundational resource in how I show up in my relationship.
And guess what? I just picked it up in the self help book section on a random bad day.
6) All About Love by bell hooks
If you wanna turn lemons into lemonade, therapists and shamans are like the knives, bowls, and juicers. But poetry is the sugar. It’s the alchemical glue that heals and moves us forward.
bell hooks brings her signature empathetic, resolute, and heroic voice to the concept of love. How important it really is and why. All About Love is like an exquisite cup of coffee or an Impressionist painting: complex, perfectly balanced, and a reminder that being alive is a gift.
This is one to savor. You buy pens and highlighters and little tabby thingies for this book. You read it two, three times. You gift it to lovers and friends. Take it to the park and let it wash over you, cleansing wounds and planting seeds in your heart.
